What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
