Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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