Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
