Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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