I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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