PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
