i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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