so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
