I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
