i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
