i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
