i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
