masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
