Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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