TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize