Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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