we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
