My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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