I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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