So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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