dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
