I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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