Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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