and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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