i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
