5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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