you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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