For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
