you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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