No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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