I'm gonna have a badass scar
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize