Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
