I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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