I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I smell stomach acid.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
