Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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