The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
how does that bad decision feel?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
