i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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