If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
