Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
