i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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