so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
