that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
