I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize