I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
