so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Congratulations! We have a period
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