He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize