i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
