I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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