Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
