How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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