Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
