if you like me you must not know who I am
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
