So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
