Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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