Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to have your abortion
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
