he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
