Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
