At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
