I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
