i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
